tax time

I finally did my taxes this weekend and learned what I feared, but thought might be the case. I owe the federal government $2,000.

No, that's not a typo and as far as I know we didn't make any mistakes. That's two thousand dollars. What that is, friends, is highway robbery.

OK, that's not true. It's just how it is. See, I knew all year as I freelanced that I should be setting aside money for taxes, but I didn't. Instead I went to Central America for two months. And this morning I wrote two checks, one to the feds and one to the state, for nearly $2,000. Now the balance in my checking account is uncomfortably low and my savings account is nonexistent.

I realize around this time of year that my case is far from unusual. But as a friend of mine suffering similar financial woes put it, we had already mentally spent the little money we had. I had already started planning my next trip in a couple months, this time maybe to Mexico?

Instead, I am sitting in front of my computer, wearing all of my clothes and wrapped in a blanket, in the part of the apartment without heat - which is pretty much all of it except for one room closed off to contain the warmth generated from a demonically possessed gas heater. We're eating eggs and beans nearly every meal. I spent the afternoon scheming ways to make money, combing the job sites and subsequently getting disappointed at the prospects, and checking and rechecking my bank balance online just to see if a miracle had happened. Plus, one of my travel buddies is back in Roatan (after a while in Costa Rica), working to become a dive master, drinking endless Port Royals, sitting in hammocks and generally making my sub-freezing, penniless existence in upstate New York pale in comparison.

I can't help but think I am living a version of the time our parents always talked about while we rolled our eyes. Something about living in squalor to follow a dream or struggling to make ends meet on the road to happiness or up hill both ways in the snow and whatnot. Am I going to one day lean back in my chair, my eyes glazed over, and reminisce about these tough times and how we cut corners but built character?

Perhaps I am being a bit melodramatic. In a few days, I am sure the shock will wear off and I'll be borrowing the car to go to Target. In fact, I've already booked a bus ticket to visit friends in New York this weekend.