me and 11 million other Americans

Two and a half years ago, I was writing about how I got a sweet new job at a daily newspaper. The job I went back to school for, that I had set my sights on, at least in theory: writing for a major metropolitan daily.

Today, I am among the millions of unemployed. Or at least I will be in a week or so. The paper announced last week that it's folding, throwing in the towel on an experiment to deliver news to some 325,000 people in Maryland for free every day. Shorter stories, catchier headlines, more graphics and boxes and photos. But still hard hitting and engaging news. About three years after the paper was launched, it folded.

But this isn't the paper's obit. That might come later. This is me realizing I am having to rethink my entire career trajectory, regain balance in my life, and I guess write on this damn blog again.

So let's start with a list, one that will bolster the few feelings of relief and open-minded positivity that I have struggled to dredge up among the feelings of sadness, anger, humiliation, guilt and more sadness.

Things I will NOT miss from my job:

1. Cranking out at least two stories a day, whether the topic warranted a full story or not.

2. Story counts to fill a quota, which toward the last days were listed and posted on my editors door, perhaps aimed to stir competition among reporters but only serving to frustrate them.

3. Hearing the phrase, "If you can't handled it, then quit!" yelled at me or my colleagues in the newsroom.

4. Readers writing or calling to say things like, "A high school student could do a better job than you."

5. Waking up in the middle of the night wondering if that name was spelled right, if I did the math correctly in the story, if I misquoted that one source.

6. Looking at the story the next day and finding for all my efforts, the copy desk inserted errors and misspelled the headline.

7. Sitting through mind-numbing government meetings that stretch past 11 p.m.

8. Having PR flacks pitch me stories I have already written. (No kidding, this one happened just yesterday.)

9. Getting paid peanuts to work my ass off.

10. Feeling at the end of the day like I have been kicked in the stomach, tossed in a dryer and squashed by a steamroller.