half-Jew or whole?

Growing up, I never really questioned the legitimacy of my religion. I was raised Jewish, went to temple and Hebrew school and had a bat mitzvah. As a reform Jew, I understood that even though my mom was Catholic and my father Jewish, I was raised Jewish and therefore was Jewish. 100 percent Jew. Not half, not just sort of, but Jewish.

Now, I am finding some people don't think that's the case. Reform or not, the mother has to be Jewish for you to be, regardless of how many years I put it at the synagogue. Sure, I might have been bat mitzvah'ed but I don't go to temple now, I don't know all the funny Yiddish phrases and I often forget a holiday until I get a call from my father - so I must be a faker, a halvsie, a mere gentile. I met a Jewish woman last night wearing a shirt that said "Gefilte" with a picture of a fish under it. I got it, and I was immediately in, and she was ready to take me to all the Jewish volunteer events. But then I didn't get some obscure Jewish reference and I think I mentioned my mom was Catholic or that I was raised a Jew but am not practicing now (often my retorts when questioned on the veracity of Judaism claim), and I was out of the club just like that.

This seems to happen every once in a while. That and the look of shock and humor when I tell someone that I am a Jew from Alabama... "Wait, there are Jews in Alabama?!" I quip: "Yeah, I'm like one of three," which for the record is not true, as there was a substantial Jewish community in the 'Ham. But why bother? On the face of it, it may seem strange, but so does the idea of someone coming from Alabama, so what do I know?

So what makes a Jew? Growing up in the temple and being bat mitzvah'ed? Being born to a Jewish mother? Picking up on all the obscure Hebrew or Yiddish references tossed out at you like a test?

I guess I am just not sure where I fit in, and ultimately I have to figure it doesn't matter. For me, Judaism was a religion, not a culture, which I suppose precludes me from the joining the Real Jews Club. And after my bat mitzvah, I chose not to attend temple, participating only in holidays with my family. As I get older, I feel drawn back to it, but at the same time unsure of what extent (and a little overwhelmed by the clubbiness). If I just want to celebrate a few holidays or attend temple every once in a while, does that make me just a pretend Jew, a wannabe Chosen One, or is it a lost cause since I am allegedly only half Jewish and therefore don't really count to begin with?

*****

In a completely unrelated matter, I am embarking on something of a bathing experiment. See, after polling a few girlfriends (and even a few guy friends this summer in DC who owned up to their arguably girlie shower routines), I might be one of the only women who still uses just bar soap in the shower. No loofah, body wash, shave gel, face wash business. No clutter of dozens of bottles promising soft this and exfoliated that. Just shampoo and bar soap.

I grew up using Ivory, and never graduated to the scented scrubs and herbal washes of my fellow female (and male) bathers. It never bothered me, and in fact I delight in the low maintenance of a 4-minute shower. But now, I am curious.

I went to Walgreens this morning and dropped $20 on moisturizing body wash, shave gel, a loofah, lotion. The works. So for the next few days, I am going to trade in the bar soap for all the girlie business. I am not sure what I am expecting, or if I really even care, but it's certainly worth seeing what all the hype is about.

*****

And finally, it has once again been proven to me that I am terrible at trivia. Scratch that. I am mediocre at it. I went to a trivia game yesterday with some friends, and although my team (Team Smartification) was the funnest and by far the rowdiest, we were neither the winners (who banked the $200 pot) or the losers (who got free drinks from the bar). The team that won sat straight-faced in the corner, barely cracking a smile and looking generally bored and miserable. It turns out they are regular competitors, working the circuit of trivia games. They may have won, but they had zero fun.

Meanwhile, we came in a mediocre, average, unmemorable fourth. The group agreed that MC Ed's questions were ultra-obscure, but perhaps we were saying to make us feel smarter (or more smartified, as we said). To be sure, I did contribute at least one tough answer that flew over the other contestants' heads - What is the common name for H1N5? The bird flu.