wining and dining

I went to meet two friends of mine from the global Paris seminar for dinner last night - we just started a tradition to meet every week or so in a new French restaurant, since our friendship grew from a love of Paris and of food. So when I get there, one friend was already seated and had ordered the wine.

Server: Can I get you something to drink, a glass of wine?

Me: Sure. (to friend) Hey, what are you drinking?

Friend 1: Bordeaux.

Me: Oh... hmmm... I'll just have a glass of Cabernet. Thank you.

Server (in painfully humorless you-must-be-an-idiot tone): Yep. That would be what she is having.

Me (wounded and a little mad): I apologize. I guess I know nothing about wine, and by your tone, that must have been a really stupid thing to say. I didn't realize Bordeaux and Cabernet were the same thing. Can you explain that to me?

Server (rambling, still humorless): Yes, something about grapes and regions and blends of this and that and yadda yadda yadda and clearly I don't really know what I am talking about but I like to make people feel stupid.

Right. The conversation went something like that. We ordered a bottle, and once she walked away I looked on the back label: 20 percent Cab, 70 percent Merlot and therefore 100 percent Bordeaux. Ok, friend, I may not fully understand, but I do know that 20 percent does not a Cabernet make. Maybe you could pass it off as a Merlot. I felt vindicated that I was not entirely wrong, and still annoyed at our crappy service. (But of course the exchange was fodder for laughs through the entire dinner: Thanks, I don't eat fish, so I'll have the grilled salmon for my entree. Or: No, thank you I don't like apples - I'll just have the apple tart for dessert.)

After dinner, I promptly called my BF, who actually does know a thing or two about wine and won't make you feel like an ass for not knowing, who explained to me that in fact, our server was a humorless ignoramous. See, allegedly French wine isn't like the wine we're used to (I personally prefer the Australian wines) - Merlot, Cabernet, Chardonnay - but in fact it's all blended. Chances are we won't get a 100 percent Cabernet, but a mix, and instead the server should have explained this and said something to the effect of, "The Bordeaux is a Cab-Merlot blend and will probably be the closest to what you are used to."

Well, the rest of the meal went well, although, as usual, we were the only table in the place laughing and having a good time. I thought we were going to have to take the pulse of the couple next to us. Sometimes I wonder why people go out to dinner if they are just going to sit there pouting, but then I also question why some people are servers, and make good money in a semi-swanky French spot, when they are really just jerks who barely cracks a smile. In the end, the manager was the only one who found us mildly refreshing, and in fact thanked us personally for coming and enjoying ourselves.