Was it worth it?
I met with a financial aid person this morning to find out just how much I will be writing a check for each month for the next ten years. It hurts a little. So financially, I can't yet answer the question of whether it was worth it.
Professionally, that will be tough too, as I don't yet have a sweet job to show for it. But I do know that I got to report on things that would have likely taken me years to do and I got great clips. In Chicago, I wrote about women's issues (yawn, I know, but I reached out into minority and health issues) and telecom (c'mon, wake up, it wasn't that boring... In fact, I got a strong background for business writing should I decide to do that one day.)
Then onto Prague. There, I struggled personally and professionally, trying to fit into a city where I didn't speak the language and didn't fully understand the intricacies of the culture. I went to interviews where my source claimed to speak English and then couldn't understand any of my questions. I covered stories with sources that were skeptical of the press and wanted to guide me on how to do the story. Everything that would take a day in the States took three. But I learned aggressiveness and bravery and determination I am not sure I would have gotten staying the States. I forced myself to explore, take day trips, order meat from the clerk at the grocery store, and call people for stories not know just what I would hear on the other end.
Spending the summer in DC turned out to be the perfect capstone to the year. I covered some really neat stories - rural broadband, rising obesity rates, CAFTA, a pork-filled transportation bill - with some interesting sources - of note was Twinkle Cavinaugh, the state GOP chair. I landed several front page stories, and successfully covered Capitol Hill for my Alabama audience.
I also made some good friends along the way at Medill. Although I often felt like much of an outsider, not quite fully in the loop, I feel lucky to have spent the time with these folks. (Granted, there were a couple folks that I wanted to punch in the face on a regular basis, but you can't get along with everyone, right?) However, answering whether it was worth it personally is perhaps the hardest question (knowing full well, though, that going back to school wasn't intended to be a social adventure but an academic one). Medill felt like high school. At Medill High there is peer pressure, gossip, hook-ups, competition and a lot of who-am-I, what-do-I-want-with-my-life questions. I got caught up in a lot of that, losing sight of myself in many ways, which I had worked so hard for coming out of real high school ten years ago. Toward the end and even a little now, I find that my mind is all over the place, I don't feel as comfortable in my own skin or as sure of the decisions I am making. The uncertainties filtered into my life outside of Medill, leading to even more confusion and angst.
Even just a few days after leaving Medill, my head began to feel clearer and I am beginning to put it all into perspective.
Things I have to remember: I am the only one who can make me happy, and what works for some won't necessarily work for me. People will always judge you, your career, your writing and even your look, but you have to be comfortable with who you are and make choices for you, not them.
I guess that is a roundabout explanation, and I don't think I have really answered the question. I do know that I do not regret going back to school and I learned so much and grew so much personally and professionally. I am sad it's over, a little sad to know I may never see some of these folks again in my life, and very anxious about my next step.
I ripped this photo from a fellow Medillian's blog. (Frosty) It's a good one, and shows a handful of the folks who shared the blood, sweat and tears - or maybe beer, sweat and tears? just beer? - of Medill. (And a shout out to the ladies of The Island, pictured here, one of whom just joined the world of blogging with her own)
No comments:
Post a Comment