life without the Internet

[Writer's note: First, let me apologize for the heavy previous post. It's never a fun topic, but I had to write about it.... And after I posted it, I realized no one would comment on that - except k.m., thanks! - and really, what does a girl have to do to get a damn comment here?!]

Living abroad changed my perspective in many ways, made me a lot less stressed about little things and more carefree, able to roll with the punches. In the Czech Republic, telecommunications are not the country's strong suit, and getting anything done - especially the smallest, most mundane things - take ages. So I learned to let go of the high-strung, everything-must-go-my-way part of myself.

Or so I thought.

I seem to have regained that part of me, and I felt it amplified this weekend.

On Friday, I called the cable company because I found they were overcharging me. A half hour later, they agree to fix it. No big deal. Then, perhaps just coincidentally, my Internet (same company) goes out. Another 40 minutes on the line (that's precious cell phone minutes too, mind you) and they say they have to send a technician out. Monday afternoon.

So this is life without the Internet. I threw a fit, got frustrated, picked fights with a few unrelated people, stressed about how I am going to get any work done and now I am sitting in the Internet cafe trying to accept my fate.

It was just part of a comedy of errors that has been my weekend so far. Frustrated, I told my friend L on the phone that I hate being a grown-up - too much damn responsibility and logistics and worries. But she reminded me that being a grown-up is the greatest: I can lay around naked all day, drink wine in the bathtub while blaring music, have beer for breakfast and generally do what I want without getting clearance. Can't argue there.

The good news is I did get a couple freelance assignments. The bad news is I am spending money faster than I am making it. And this so-called life of leisure isn't all fun and games. As you can probably see, without other things to get me out and busy, little issues like the Internet connection, the pogo-stick-jumping sound that keeps shaking me awake before 7 a.m. and the neighbor's creepy cat that initiates staring contests with me between our windows, get me all worked up. Really, I need to keep things into perspective. And maybe actually do something else with myself - volunteer, learn to knit, paint, re-read the classics from high school (I did just pick up The Sound and the Fury from the library)... things of that nature.

And in other news, I discovered yet another amazing bar in Chicago: Carrol's. It's a county western bar complete with a live band, authentically red-necky clientele and cheap beers by the pitcher. I went there last night after the Liar's Club (always a good dance party) and the bar was packed with regulars and hipsters all dancing to covers of Sweet Home Alabama and the like.

On a more sobering note, my friend E and I met this guy there who had just returned from Iraq where he spent a year. For someone who did not grow up in a military family and has no direct ties to the war, it was sobering to say the least. At one point, he looked at us and said, "You guys have no idea." And he was right. We will never have any idea. This kid - he was 24 - spent a year in Hell where he watched friends die and, in his words, spent every minute not knowing if he was going to live or die. He said the media has been getting it all wrong (he claimed they did find some evidence of weapons of mass destruction) and that no one knows the real work they are doing, rebuilding schools and setting up water and electricity. Those stories don't make the paper, he said, and the ones that do are wrong.

I don't doubt that, and his words didn't change how I feel about this mess of a war, but it was humbling to hear him talk about it. He still supports the war, thinks we should stay and even add more troops (he would return in a heartbeat), which I am both completely baffled by and disagree with, but respect. Because we have no idea. I will never fully understand what is happening over there.